Settling Down??

I’m seriously worried about Chad. And while we’re at it, I’m not so sure about my other friend Chad, either.

There was a big meeting the other night that I was supposed to be at, but my car broke down and I was coming from Mornington, and my phone had fallen down a drain so I couldn’t call Chad to pick me up. Anyway, Chad was at the meeting, and so was Chad. I asked them to tell me what happened, but they both just said it wasn’t important…and then, in the middle of the gym, they just started talking about the property market.

Chad was doing pull-ups and recommending a great service in Melbourne for vendors statements, while Chad was doing lat-pulldowns and seeming really grateful because he’d been looking for a great conveyancer for ages now, since he’s thinking of proposing and settling down with his girl Anique, and hold on. Hold ON for just a moment. Chad would NEVER settle down, and neither would Chad, and they were just talking about property conveyancers like they’ve aged ten years and suddenly they’re all responsible. I couldn’t even focus on my reps; had to get out when they started to talk about which suburbs are best for raising kids. Felt like I was about to start throwing weights, and that’s definitely not cool.

Kids: seriously? I wanted to talk to my friend Chad about why Chad and Chad were acting weird, but when I called he was all excited because he needed to talk to someone about smoothie recipes, and I felt like chucking my new phone into the sea.

I can understand property conveyancing, Melbourne readers. People need homes. Homes are cool. I’m a renting guy myself, but homes can be cool. Smoothies…that’s just crossing a line. Something is seriously wrong when a single one of my friends starting talking about liquid kale.