Cardio Fitness, People

As much as I like the idea of gaming becoming immersive enough to have people running around on hamster balls wearing headsets, I have to say that I don’t think people have really thought it out. And really, just now, think it out. If gaming is as addictive as is it now, then gamers are going to become the fittest people in society. Like…hours of running around, crouching, tactical crouching, pistol whipping; gamers of the future are going to be today’s Olympic triathletes.

The market for this stuff? Incredible. Supplements that help you game, actual healthy ones. Shoes, clothes, all aimed at gamers. Podiatry! Wow, podiatry, can you even imagine?? I had to get childrens orthotics fitted in Cheltenham once because I was playing too many games of Octopus, and that’s just something I used to do at recess and lunchtimes. Now gamers of all ages are going to be running around on their feet for hours. Suddenly, the idea of a couch-ridden slob is gone, because it’s just objectively more fun to be running around instead of holding a controller and sitting down, so people are going to need podiatry at a much greater rate. There are going to be specialised podiatrists, just for game-related injuries, sort of like how now they have special podiatrists for sports, or children, or foot conditions.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there will be new foot conditions named after things you can only get while gaming ‘Gunner’s foot’, sort of like achilles tendinitis, but specific to running around in a hamster ball. It’s like…achilles tendinitis meets RSI. Of course, you’d hope that manufacturers of hamster balls will make it so the supplied boots help to prevent this sort of thing, but you know people. They’ll look for the cheap option, and then it’s off to the podiatrist. Like people who buy their shoes from $2 shops.

-Kip