Fading Eyesight

I first realised that my vision wasn’t as good as it used to be last month when I went and saw my first live gig in almost two years. Before the unfortunate worldwide thing that happened, I used to see live music every other weekend. I didn’t even care if I knew the band, I …

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Emergency Car Repairs

I’m going to be a DJ!!! It’s going to be lit. I’m about to go and pick up some second-hand decks from a DJ who’s decided to upgrade. I think it’s cool that the decks are pre-owned because I can say that they’re vintage and that will add to my whole vibe. My DJ name …

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Purple & Green Paint

Do you ever look back at some of the decisions you’ve made in the past and wonder what the heck you were thinking?! It’s like every year I become a completely different person, with different tastes in people, fashion and interests. Last year, for example, I was really into the colour purple. Everything I wore …

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Motherhood Earrings

I only have two more letters from my mum to open. One on the day that my first child is born, which if everything goes to plan should hopefully be tomorrow. And one on the day my firstborn is old enough to get their ears pierced. I’m nervous to open your letter tomorrow. I feel …

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Weird Video

How do I break up with my girlfriend? Seriously, I need help. We’ve only been dating for three months and I thought things were pretty casual. Yesterday was our quarterly-year anniversary, which I didn’t even know was a thing, and she got me a gift. I thought this was weird to begin with and then …

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League of Designers

Today, the League of International Bathroom Designers gathered together for their five hundredth annual secret meeting. Unbeknownst to the common person, the League is comprised of some of the most powerful people in the world. While certain silly people like to discuss powerful—fictional—groups such as the Cultists of the Triangle Eye or the Costly Masons, …

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Wooden Cottage

Don’t you hate it when logistics and practicalities get in the way. For example, I just want to run away and build myself a small wooden cottage in the middle of nowhere. But instead, I have a family to look after, a mortgage to pay and a job I have to go to. It’s one …

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William’s Truth

I don’t know what I was expecting from a mechanic in Toowoomba, but it certainly wasn’t that. After days of driving, I’m just about ready to be done with this quest that my father has sent me on. Apparently, it was too much to ask for one of these workshops to be simple, without giving …

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The Slide Is High

Allow me to introduce myself. The name’s Bill Kettle, and I’m in the slippery dip business. I’ve designed and constructed slippery dips for just about every application you can think of: public playgrounds, water parks, novelty office spaces and even houses. Yes, houses have slippery dips now, and it’s all thanks to people like me …

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Premier’s Debate

Welcome one and all to the first electoral debate between Premier Norris and Dr Dark McBane. This will be an epic battle to convince the people of Victoria that they deserve to be in charge of the state. Of course, due to reasons, this debate must be held entirely online. I’m your host, Chuck Fiddlesticks, …

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