Welcome one and all to the first electoral debate between Premier Norris and Dr Dark McBane. This will be an epic battle to convince the people of Victoria that they deserve to be in charge of the state. Of course, due to reasons, this debate must be held entirely online. I’m your host, Chuck Fiddlesticks, with Channel 17 news. Let’s get started with our first question.
Dr Dark McBane, the voters want to know how you feel about projects requiring hardware.
McBane: Funny you should ask that, since not one year ago I was living in a supervillain lair out the back of my mother’s house. To complete most of my evil plans, I had to buy a lot of hardware. I became very familiar with one particular hardware store close to Bentleigh, which was where I lived. So, in short, I’d say that I passionately support projects requiring hardware, and love buying my hardware from small businesses.
That’s sure to be a popular answer with the public. Now, Premier Norris, I want to know what you think of the popular new roleplaying game, Find the Path. You’re a big fan of Grottos and Goblins, right? Surely you have some interesting thoughts about this other game.
Norris: Well, to be honest, Chuck, I haven’t tried Find the Path, as it cannot possibly be better than G&G. There’s no need to try it. I will take to my grave that G&G is a better game.
Well, I’m sure some people will like that you stick to your choices, I suppose. Now, for you both, Billy wants to know where he should go to get the best electrical supplies near Cheltenham. Any advice?
Norris: Go wherever is closest.
McBane: Go wherever has the best reviews near you. Hard work always pays off.
Unfortunately, the rest of this interview has been blocked by the Australian government, as it became too petty and/or heated, serving as an indictment on the Australian political system.