Today, the League of International Bathroom Designers gathered together for their five hundredth annual secret meeting. Unbeknownst to the common person, the League is comprised of some of the most powerful people in the world. While certain silly people like to discuss powerful—fictional—groups such as the Cultists of the Triangle Eye or the Costly Masons, the League meets right under their noses, choosing how the world will move forward over the coming year. They have been behind every major world event, from the latest Superb Owl win to this year’s Stanley Chalice victor. And yes, they are behind more than just sporting outcomes, but I am not at liberty to discuss that here.
I know what you are thinking. Why is it bathroom designers that rule the world from the shadows? Well, think about it. Have you ever thought, “Where can I get a good bathroom remodel near me?” At that moment, you are entirely dependent on a bathroom designer. You get in contact with a bathroom designer, and they give you a good price on your quote, so you find that you suddenly owe them a favour or two. It is by using those favours effectively that bathroom designers have launched themselves to the top of the social ladder.
It’s really not that far-fetched when you think about it. After all, the supposed Costly Mansons have roots in stonemasonry. So why is it that strange for bathroom designers to have all this power? And it’s not like they use the power for evil or anything. No, they do it to make sure that people with simple names like Ryan can have access to the best bathroom designers in the Melbourne area. Is that so bad? Just let us take care of everything in the world. We’ll make sure there are interesting events going on, and that sports keep engagement high.
As a note, we have nothing to do with the outcomes of Australian football. That is literally impossible to fix. We’ve tried, but the Wolverines just keep winning the premiership every year anyway. But other than that, all sports and events are controlled by the League of International Bathroom Designers.