Don’t you hate it when logistics and practicalities get in the way. For example, I just want to run away and build myself a small wooden cottage in the middle of nowhere. But instead, I have a family to look after, a mortgage to pay and a job I have to go to. It’s one of life’s biggest misfortunes – the need to conform to survive.
Late at night when my family is asleep, I let my imagination run wild. I imagine myself putting on a disguise and visiting the local hardware store in Bentleigh. I buy all the timber, building, plumbing and electrical supplies that I need and then I disappear into the night without a trace. I don’t tell anyone where I am or where I’m going because I’m not planning on coming back. I’m planning on building myself a cottage and living a life of refuge.
I don’t know how I ended up in the life that I’m living in. I never wanted kids, I never wanted a job. I’ve always preferred a life of solitude and relaxation, but somehow I got the complete opposite. The urge I feel to run away and change my identity gets stronger every day, although I know it’s not something that I’ll ever do. I will support my family, despite my darkest urges.
Last night I had a dream that I bought an entire city’s worth of plumbing supplies. Cheltenham, a South East suburb in Melbourne probably isn’t able to order in the whole city’s worth of supplies, but in my dream, it could. In the dream, I was being pushed in the direction of open land. My family were indifferent to me leaving and because I had enough supplies, I up and left. My life as I knew it was over and I felt free. You can imagine my disappointment when I woke up at 6:00am to get my kids ready for school.