How do I break up with my girlfriend? Seriously, I need help. We’ve only been dating for three months and I thought things were pretty casual. Yesterday was our quarterly-year anniversary, which I didn’t even know was a thing, and she got me a gift. I thought this was weird to begin with and then I saw what the gift was. It was this really weird video about us. Except I wasn’t even in it – I was some sort of animated version of myself that she would talk to, dance with and kiss. It was genuinely bizarre. However, I do have to give credit to the quality of the post production services because the animation did look quite a bit like me… which was even creepier.
When we watched the video together, I was in shock. It started off as this weird recap of every day we had spent together over the last three months, and then turned into this video about our future together. Like… dude… we’ve been dating for ninety days. I just smiled and said thanks after it ended, and pretended like the present I got her was too big to bring to a café so I’ll give it to her next time. But there won’t be the next time.
I showed the video to my friends and they laughed so hard that they all nearly cried. They were cracking up over the fact that my girlfriend wants to have a kid next year. We’re twenty-two at the moment, living with our parents I should add, and she thinks that we can have kids next year!? I don’t even know where I want to go on holidays next month. I definitely don’t want to have to start thinking about kids too.
Maybe to help me break up with her, I’ll ask for someone to help me with a corporate video production. Melbourne has plenty of talented people who I’m sure I could hire to help me out with this difficult situation. I mean, there are plenty of video production companies, and if I chose the most serious, non-funny one, she’ll know that I’m not joking. Get me out of this relationship.