I only have two more letters from my mum to open. One on the day that my first child is born, which if everything goes to plan should hopefully be tomorrow. And one on the day my firstborn is old enough to get their ears pierced. I’m nervous to open your letter tomorrow. I feel like by losing you so early I lost the valuable lessons you would’ve taught me. Lessons that I’ll need to teach my firstborn but never learnt myself. I hope your letter is filled with all the lessons I’ll need to share with my child. You were a great mum, even if you didn’t get to be one for as long as you would have liked.
It meant a lot to be that you went to the effort to find perfectly unique earrings to celebrate my birthdays and milestones every year since you passed. I’ll never forget the year you got me moth earrings, that’s probably the only year you got it wrong. For making the decisions that far in advance you did a great job.
I’m going into labour now mum. Please look out for me. I’m scared of the pain.
Mum, I survived the pain! I told them to drug me up, obviously, but I did it! I can only imagine how nice it would’ve been to have your support whilst I was giving birth, but unfortunately, that’s not how things worked out for us. Maybe in another life, you would’ve been there by my side and you wouldn’t have needed to gift me your wisdom and a pair of custom Melbourne made earrings.
I’m going to read your letter now. I love you and miss you.
Okay, I’m sobbing. Thanks so much for that letter mum. It is exactly what I needed to read to go into motherhood feeling somewhat prepared and sure of myself. I hope that you felt this supported when you had me.